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I havenapos;t updated this in a little while because my internet was down, but I actually really needed to put in another entry.

Last Friday, She was going to apologize to one of my friends whom she obviously has some personal problems with. She told me, and I told the girl she was going to apologize to about it so she would just accept the apology so everyone in show choir could move on. Apparently it got out somehow and it got back to Her. She then got upset with me for talking about it, and we basically got into a fight even though it wasnapos;t a big deal. I really thought it had strained our relationship with each other.

I decided to give her some space since she was being pretty cold and I was also kinda angry with her. To make matters worse, she didnapos;t even acknowledge me on Monday, then at the end of the day she sent me a text and we basically got into another small argument. Apparently I had done something wrong, and then I guess I didnapos;t do something? I really donapos;t know. It was so confusing and frustrating I canapos;t even explain these past couple of days.

Then she starts talking to me the next day, saying how sheapos;s going to apologize to everyone. She thought I was mad at her, and I told her that I was just frustrated. She told me what was really wrong and what it was that I did or didnapos;t do. She also apologized, and I did as well. Then we started talking about everything that was going on in show choir and all the problems weapos;ve all been having with each other. But everything turned out okay. Practice that night turned out great and it really seems like everyoneapos;s relationships with each other are much better now. Iapos;m really glad everyone could get through this.

More importantly, Iapos;m glad Her and I could get through this.

By the way, all that was the shortened version of the whole story. Like I said, itapos;s so complicated I canapos;t even explain it.
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Lately, when itapos;s been cloudy, Iapos;ve felt like Iapos;ll never see the sunshine again. I�actually mean this literally, not as a metaphor.

Weapos;re not talking about clinical depression...probably more along the lines of "recession depression"�(which I assume my use of is not a novel case).

I have a ton to be thankful for in my life. I have a great job, Iapos;m getting married, my family is pretty much all healthy.

I guess the main thing bothering me right now is that Lina is having trouble finding a job here in Memphis, a place that she came because of me. She spent six years in DAAP working incredibly hard and has three degrees from a top ranked school to prove it.

But then she goes to the firms around here and either they give her false hope like, "Sure Let use see your resume" followed by "Wow Your work is very impressive.....Nope, sorry, no openings. Call back in a year. " or they explain to her "well, the economy is down right now..." like sheapos;s a moron and doesnapos;t know that. Why do they think sheapos;s looking for a job rather than already has one?

The worst part about it is not being able to do anything about it to help her. Iapos;ve tried to nudge around in my contact networks, but finding an architect in memphis by going through medical and tech people isnapos;t really all that fruitful of a pursuit.

Anyone know anyone who knows anyone who knows anyone that can get her a job?

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Have to write a review for handing in�tomorrow, but canapos;t stop surfing doll-related websites instead...tsk tsk tsk. Luckily itapos;s almost done (the review, not the surfing).

Tonightapos;s highlight was meeting up with Jesper after work in the nearby supermarket and buying a package of minced elk and make the finnish version of spaghetti bolognese (well, as we were using elk...)
May sound odd, but was tasty.

Is it weird to be tempted to spend 40-60$ on an outfit for a doll? (want to underline that we are talking about a really cool, japanese kind of fully articulated doll here, but still, I wonder...)

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2008-10-13 Beijing

Agricultural Bank of China and Xcar.com.cn recently teamed up to launch the first car card. According to an executive at Agricultural Bank of China, the co-branded card which integrates the resource advantages of Agricultural Bank of China and Xcar.com.cn, creates a full service platform for card holders, in addition to featuring the basic functions of credit cards.

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I suck. Isuckisuckisuckisuckisuckisuckisuckisuckisuck...

Itapos;s been a while, I know. And itapos;s been eventful. And intense, and dramatic, and absolutely FUCK ALL has come from it cuz I havenapos;t even gotten my ass in gear yet. FUCK. Okay, tomorrow, To Do:

1. Buy a GIANT fucking agenda.
2. Call mirta for Estherapos;s number.
3. Call Esther.
4. Call Marlene.
5. Find a way to call Nadine.
6. Call Mom.
7. Go to Eriapos;s for delicious thanksgiving food.
8. Try to socialize with roomates.
9. Try not to suck.
10. Go to gym (in retrospect, should be number one)
11. Be more like Jessica. Organized and stuff. Care.
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I've sat back for the past week and watched everything that's been happening on the campaign trail of the obama and mccain camps. I've been reading about their rallies, about the things their supporters are doing and saying.

here's a small sampling:

mccain's rallies are growing smaller, louder, and more vicious. They are regurgitating the hateful vitriol that the mccain camp is feeding them. They are racist, fascist, hate-mongering, intolerant, and small-minded. They urge violence - cries of "terrorist" "kill him" and "die" ring out. And what do their leaders do? smile and nod. Keep flaming the fire.

obama's rallies and growing larger, louder, happier, enthusiastic, and optimistic. And there are ever more republican faces in the crowd, smiling and looking for hope.

15 minutes from my house on friday night, mccain spoke at a high school. The crowd started to go into loud, hateful mode and mccain - perhaps because deep down he's decent? perhaps because he knows that he's started this fire and it could spill over into a national tragedy come january if he doesn't try to squelch it? - actually told an audience that obama is a decent guy who they don't need to fear as president, he just happens to disagree on the fundaments of policy.

and the crowd? they BOOED mccain for saying that.

they booed him.

i thought, as a country, we'd moved beyond this. I had no idea racism and fear and willingness to be led like sheep was still so pervasive.

here's the thing, people: generations have fought for the right for a peaceful, equal country. We are on the cusp of something extraordinary, and instead of america embracing it with optimism and pride, small factions are becoming increasingly vocal about just how backward and unenlightened and ignorant they really are.

all it takes is a look at a mccain/palin rally side-by-side with an obama/biden rally:





wow. From hatred and yelling and looks of pure evil, to cheering and laughter in the rain. Seriously - what country do we want to live in? i would rather cheer in a rain of hope and optimism any day than align myself with people so full of their own sense of self-righteousness that listening to the truth is beyond them.

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